The Problem Caused by Fear & the Doctrine of Original Sin

For years every time that I would enter my home I had the urge to go to the bathroom. I knew that it was an urge that stemmed from fear because it was the same feeling that one has when something frightens us and we need to go to the bathroom. Since there had been several obvious accidents in my home environment that could have caused that, over time I dealt with each one. But there still remained a nagging fear.

Recently it occurred to me that perhaps there was a fear that entered me before birth. Was it possible that when I, the chosen sperm of my father, was ejected out into the unknown dark world, where survival of the fittest was the only primary concern, that I experienced my first fear of rejection? Was that memory still in me?

Obviously, I, the sperm, made it to the top and survived because I was the only one that penetrated my mother’s ovum. Once that was done, I must have immediately experienced relief, a feeling of being “at home” again. But then nine months later, all of a sudden I was rejected and evicted again from my known home into another unknown world, and this time there was no dark warm feeling of being “at home.” The environment was totally different.

So, my question was, were these two feelings of rejection or eviction still dwelling within me, still causing me to fear that I would again be evicted from my known home into the unknown? It was certainly possible because we know today that every cell in our body has its own intelligence, its own DNA.  It also has a memory of every thing it has experienced, the good and the bad, and it has the power to “speak” and influence those around it. Therefore, it would seem that these feelings and fear were in the cells of my original sperm that made it, as well as in the newborn fetus.

Then, how much influence did those two fearful moments have on the rest of my life?

In order to find out, I called the “fear of rejection or eviction” to come forth before me in the imagination. It arrived. Then I asked it to please show me all the events in my life where that fear functioned. There began a kind of a slide show production, but it began with me as a toddler just learning how to walk.

I stopped the show and said, “Why did you start here? You should have started earlier in my life.”

The slide show began again, but this time it began with the moment of birth, presenting me as a baby who had just came out of the womb, still covered with blood. Since I did not interrupt it again, the slide show continued to present every moment in my life where I moved from one location to the other. There was no difference between the moves caused by my parents changing houses, locations, or those caused by myself as a youth or adult. This slide show took 3 to 4 minutes, covering every thing up to the present moment. I was amazed at how many times this fear of rejection or eviction had presented itself in my life. All the events were true. But the first eviction….why was that still missing in this slide show?

I asked those to come forth who were responsible for not allowing the appearance of the first experience of eviction/rejection in the sperm. I wanted to know why they were not letting this happen. I instinctively knew that the original “fear of rejection or eviction” that came forth at the beginning was not responsible for this scene not appearing.

A door opened from deep down somewhere and two dark angels quickly came forth, but just as quickly returned and slammed the door shut. I insisted again in the name of Jesus that they come forth. Again, they came forth, but did not stay. The third time they came forth I put them in capsules and they had to stay.

Then I asked them, “Why were you blocking this vision of me as sperm from being experienced as the fear of rejection and eviction?”

They would not answer, but we did hear one whispering to the other, “We can’t tell him that. If we do, we will reveal our greatest secret and that will mean we will lose our control over mankind.”

So, I asked again, “Why did you do this?”

“We will not tell you. Why don’t you ask the Father. He knows. He rejected us also from heaven.”

“No, he did not reject you from heaven. You chose to leave heaven.”

“Okay, but so did you! You chose your parents. You chose how you wanted to be born.”

Bingo! They had just revealed to me the secret without knowing it. With that, they quickly ran for the door in the depths of hell and slammed it shut. My Guardian Angel, Jonathan Tom and Michael the Archangel, both said, “Let them go, Teo. We don’t want to get involve with them down there.” I now knew the secret and I also knew what needed to be done to bring healing.

It is true that we chose our parents. It is true that we also knew that we are never separated from our Father. It is true that we are always at home in our Father. Therefore, it was impossible to experience a fear that was attached to the experience of being rejected or evicted since we knew that all these steps were means to help us change in order to grow.

It is also true that a feeling of separation was possible because our heavenly Father, the Holy Spirit and their Son were only invisible in this world, and that would give us the ability to grow because absence makes the heart grow fonder. This is the way that our Father set up this world in which we live. This is the true reality. So, what happened that caused the experience to be fearful? What happened that caused me to lose sight of the true reality? In other words, how did fear get involved here?

The moment that I entered the sperm I entered the darkness of this world, and it was at that moment that the dark angels, who also lived in the same environment in this world, touched me with a feeling of being “permanently” secure in my new home. They knew that soon I would experience being ejected and evicted, and so they took advantage of my new way of life by exaggerating my feeling of at-homeness in the darkness.

Then, when the moment of ejaculation came they easily placed in me a fear that they attached to the natural feeling of being rejected. The fear was able to stick because it was able to cloud my remembrance that this experience was the very experience I needed in order to experience “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”  Thus, fear was able to easily be attached to any feeling of rejection or eviction that separated me from my known “home and security” into the unknown territory where survival of the fittest reigned.

It was also the moment when the dark angels used the church’s emphasis on Original Sin to instill further in me a fear and feeling that I was intrinsically evil in some way, especially, in my sexual organs. This church emphasis was transmitted to me from the cells of my human father.

Not long ago a senior citizen told me with all sincerity that it was a shame that we had to sin in order to have our wonderful children. That attitude of original sin transmitted its fearful emotional affect on all the cells in her, especially those related to sexuality. This has been a common experience of most Christians since almost the beginning of Christianity.

So, once my “fear of rejection and eviction” was able to add the sperm experience to my slide show, I was ready to let myself be lead to the healing of all these fearful feeling events. Since there were so many of them I was sure they also reinforced the idea that I was not loveable, and consequently, giving me an unhealthy dislike of who I am.

I had become aware also at this moment that throughout my whole life, from the moment of entering the sperm to this present moment, that my Father and I had never left the presence of each other. I could now see that all these events were chosen so that I would experience separation as a means to grow more in my desire to be more conscious of who I am, namely, Love.

So, to continue the healing process, I first called back into myself every part of my spirit taken from me by this fear in every “eviction” event in that slide show. Then I asked my Father to please come with me, take me by the hand, and lead me through each of these events that were presented in the slide show in such a way that I could relive each event with understanding and love. This took several minutes, but when it was done, I felt whole and complete.

No longer was home where I physically lived, but rather in my soul and spirit where I was one with my Father. Now, there can never be another eviction. My experience had brought my Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus into the Light. They are now visible to me. Original darkness was gone.

However, I was also aware that from now on my life was to be spent living out this new awareness of who I am, living out this being of love, being in my Father always. This opens a new door of living on this earth, something that I have not experienced before. I am looking forward to walking into this unknown with love and adventure! Time will show how deep this healing has been for me.

Other corollary thoughts……

The above article is about me, a man, a male. I do believe that it also relates in various degrees to all men and women, but the relationship in women, as I see it, adds a third fearful experience. The second fear of the woman is different. Her fear is that of penetration. The moment the sperm penetrated the quiet peaceful ovum, her life was changed, and she had no say over it. Penetration became from that moment on her biggest fear. Every woman knows from life’s experiences that to allow herself to be penetrated in some way will change her life will add responsibilities, will take away more of her freedom. For me, these fears have their foundation in that first penetration.

Since I am not a woman, I need to bounce this aspect off of many women who are able to allow fears to present themselves in order to find out how deep this fear is.

Her fear of penetration also stems from the doctrine of original sin. This doctrine has enslaved her in fear to man, especially concerning love, and so has the Genesis interpretation of her creation. Since she came from one of Adam’s ribs, she was his. She belonged to him. He owned her. That interpretation has existed down to our day. But there is another interpretation to the story of Genesis.

We are made to the image and likeness of God as Genesis tells us. We also know that in God there are three divine Persons, the Father, the Holy Spirit who is the Divine Mother, and the Son. Theologians down through the centuries have said that the Father is supreme, and that the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father. The Greek Catholic Church teaches that both the Holy Spirit and the Son proceed from the Father. So, whatever is the true reality, it is true that in some way They both come from and out of the Father. Yet, in their essence all three of Them are equally God. All three of Them are completely equal, existing from eternity equally.

This is the part that is forgotten in the interpretation of Genesis. It is true that woman came from man, but at the same time she is one with him, sharing the same essence of being. She therefore is in no way inferior to him, nor in anyway his servant because of her essence. In this interpretation we have man and woman truly being made to the image and likeness of God.

The doctrine of Original Sin has also explained why we are separated from God. But it adds something that is not true. Original Sin makes God our Father a cruel tyrant who can’t stand being disobeyed, and therefore punishes severely those who buck him.

Also, Original Sin presents us with the concept that darkness exists because of sin. Sin of its very nature, the doctrine says, separates us from the love of our Father, making us an adversary. Neither can this be true because as God He is only unconditional love and He can never separate himself physically, spiritually or lovingly from any of his creation.

Finally, Original Sin gives us an awareness that we are intrinsically dirty and evil, especially because of the presence of our sexual organs. (Some churches state that we are not intrinsically evil). These organs have received a severe dose of fear because of original sin. The very instrument of love and creation given us by our Divine Father and Mother which makes us like Them has become the instrument of damnation in hell for most of the human race.

Darkness is only a separation from Light, and it has nothing to do with sin. Sin cannot exist within a God who loves unconditionally. And nothing can exist outside of God. Therefore, if sin exists it can only exist when we create a new god that loves conditionally.

Returning to our original thesis, therefore, when we look at these events from the view point of original darkness, then only the feeling of being evicted and/or penetrated is experienced. As a result, we then feel these actions as they truly are, namely, moments of darkness for further growth in living love. Only love is present. As St. John says in his epistle, “where there is love there is no fear.”

When fear is added by both the dark angels and the concept of “sin” to the experience of being evicted or penetrated then we live under a curse that has boxed us in, taking away our freedom to grow in living love  If this fear is not healed it can and will accumulate more fear until something is about to explode, causing damage to the human personality that can range from being minor to catastrophic. 

This is the evil of fear and original sin. This is the secret that the two dark angels from the pits of hell did not want us to know. With fear and original sin before us, they can keep us in bondage, unable to be who we truly are, Divine Love.

In conclusion, we all suffer from these prenatal fears, but for those of us who had parents that bonded well with us in love and whose personal love created a secure home environment, we would have been healed of these fears. If they appeared again, it would have been from another external circumstance.

The same can be said for the fear of penetration that a baby girl naturally acquired when she was penetrated and impregnated by the sperm. If her father bonded well with her from the beginning of birth she would have been healed of that fear. But without that bonding she would surely have grown into adulthood with a fear of “penetration” from any source, especially that associated with Love and men.

Father, please free us from this bondage of fear and original sin! Please give us again your Holy Spirit of Pentecost! Jesus, that was your precious gift to us.  Please Father, free us all! Amen!


Another Interpretation of Genesis

Our Heavenly Father created Adam and Eve in the garden of paradise. It was heaven on earth at that time in history. Neither was He totally invisible to them at that time because Scripture tells us that they conversed with each other daily walking through paradise. They enjoyed each others company. So, the original darkness hiding His Presence was only partial.

Then, one day the Father told them that there was a place (symbolized by a tree in the orchard) that would give them a different kind of human experience (symbolized by partaking of the fruit of the tree). In that place He would no longer be partially visibly present to them as He was now. And life without his visible experience would be more difficult to live. But, by choosing that, they would learn far more than they could in their present place. The choice was theirs. If they wished to remain in this present paradise “they should not eat of the fruit of that tree.”

However, there happened to be present among Adam and Eve, dark angels who were also only partially visible to them. They already had chosen to “eat of the forbidden fruit” so to speak. They had already chosen to separate themselves as completely as possible from the experience of our Father’s visible presence. Seeing how nice things were for Adam and Eve in their present paradise, the dark angels decided to help Adam and Eve experience the same type of separation, more or less, that they were experiencing. 

Scripture says that Eve took the first bite, and that would make sense, because women seem to be by nature more affectionate and desiring to experience and learn how to live affectionate love more deeply and intimately than men. She convinced Adam to join her in the quest to “know” how to be more loving than they were. He accepted the invitation to know more.

This united decision was different from that of the dark angels. Lucifer was spiritually “married” to Sophia, the Holy Spirit, when he decided to leave the visible presence of the Father in order to grow more in the awareness of how great divine Love is, but Sophia refused to follow him. The same happened with most of the dark angels. Very few of the female angels followed them. That created a loneliness, a greater difficulty, that added to the dark angels’ quest to grow in love within the original darkness. Consequently, Adam and Eve’s uniting together to search for a deeper experience of love made the dark angels jealous.

It was a deeper love that Adam and Eve desired to know more because the first sign of the awareness of the total original darkness upon them was expressed through their becoming aware that they were naked. Something happened here that was not the normal consequence of original darkness. Since their sexual organs were the source of embarrassment and fear immediately, then they knew before hand that they were the very center of their awareness of divine Love.

They became ashamed of the wonderful gift that made them like unto the image of our Heavenly Father and Mother because they no longer saw their Father and Mother’s presence there. They became ashamed of the instruments of divine love, and then fear entered because they seemed to have a mind of their own. As a result they saw them as something dirty and unloving. This fear that entered did not come from the darkness, the lack of the visible presence of the Triune God, but from the dark angels, because the dark angels could not allow those wonderful instruments to truly continue to be felt as instruments of divine Love even in darkness.

The dark angels placed fear within them so that there would be a constant barrier working against Adam and Eve in their quest to find and know a deeper aspect of themselves in a divine loving embrace. They obviously had instilled this fear in Adam and Eve well because it is still very difficult, especially for men, to see their sexual organ as a divine instrument of love. Men are still embarrassed concerning their sexual organs, even to where they still say that their “member” has a mind of its own.

After they made their choice the Archangel then led them out of the garden of paradise and into the “place” they chose while he stood guard at the gate so that no one could return until the appointed time.  

They could not return because from that moment on, the most important knowledge to be acquired was the realization that paradise, where the Triune God lived, was to be found primarily within them. Once that happened, then they would automatically be living in the visible presence of the Triune God, and automatically, no matter where they were physically in this world, everything around them would be a paradise, the Garden of Eden renewed. Their very presence would create around them a paradise.

The appointed time for this to happen in the world was at Pentecost, but as we know, it was not allowed to live long. Mankind still preferred to seek more the depth of love within by living again without the visible presence of the Triune God, especially this time, that of Sophia, the Holy Spirit. But, now is Her moment as the Holy Spirit, under the presence of Sophia, and this time She will not be able to be removed. Her presence will remain visible. She will complete her Pentecost of transforming the world into the Garden of Eden and present it back to the Father with Love.

Proverbs in chapter 8:24 ff tells us that Sophia delighted in playing with the children of men. That was Her beginning with Adam and Eve. She has not been able to enjoy being totally with us since then. But now is her time. Now is the moment when She will dwell among us, delighting to play with us.

Let us continue to prepare for it by opening our hearts more to experience love so that we can be love present to all in our daily lives. Let the very Love that is within us be the Garden of Eden around us wherever we go.

August 2010